Recently, while conversing with one of my friends, I had a fascinating discussion regarding religious customs. My friend’s church has a custom of organizing arranged marriages for all men and women before the age of eighteen. That is, the main minister matches the two individuals who are unknown to each other until the wedding day. Surprisingly, rather than calling it a marriage ceremony, it is known as a “blessing” and is performed as a mass gathering with up to 40,000 people getting married all at once on the same day. My friend’s church is unique from other religions because it requires arranged marriages as a requirement for being a member.
Our opinions greatly differed on this religious custom. I feel that churches should not force people to get married at a young age, especially with someone whom they have not created a special bond or with whom they may be uncomfortable. People should marry when they are comfortable with their partner. If the couple’s personalities and lifestyles clash, they could both be very unhappy. People can show their faith to God in ways other than participating in arranged marriages. However, my friend feels that the arranged marriage shows the couple’s faith in God because they are ready to meet a stranger whom God has chosen for them. She believes that meeting her chosen husband will rid herself of any trouble of finding a partner and that together they will begin a lifelong journey together. She trusts that through God’s match-making, both the husband and wife will grow spiritually.
Our tone throughout the conversation was mild and there was little arguing. Instead, we listened quietly and respectfully to each other’s opinion and discussed in a nice and quiet manner even though our opinions were greatly different from each other.
From this conversation, I have learned that people show their faith in God in various forms, even marrying someone they do not know. Although I may not be used to the concept of arranged marriages as a way to show trust in God, I respect my friend’s belief because it is a custom that she has grown up with and is accustomed to following.
I had no idea that this still existed! Especially here in the United States. I would never ever marry someone I have never met. I'm not exactly sure how God is choosing the partner for them. . . isn't it the priest? I'm not sure how legit that is (not at all). I'm really glad that's not required for my church!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure i could do that either. seems like too much of a leap of faith for me... and i'm not quite into that...
ReplyDeleteWow, that is really interesting. I think that practice would be really hard for me to accept. It can be really uncomfortable just going on a date with a complete stranger. I can't imagine having to marry someone I didn't know at all.
ReplyDeleteWow, I would have trouble accepting this custom. It is nice that your conversation remained respectful and accepting.
ReplyDeleteHaving different views it seems does not always have to lead to heated arguments, but I think it is noce sometimes to be so passionate that the only way you know how to get a point across is to be a little heated. Though maybe this was not the venue.
ReplyDeleteThat's interesting. I would have a hard time getting used to that. I feel like a lot of arranged marriages like that wouldn't last very long.
ReplyDeleteIt's cool that even with such different beliefs on this topic you two were able to stay composed and relaxed, I think some politicians should take notes on this form of debate. I guess we just have to realize that marriage is a relative practice with a different meaning from religion to religion and that our views on marriage may not be better than another religions view on marriage, they are just merely different views.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Kristin. Your topic is really interesting, and you manage to present it very clearly, in spite of the fact that you are discussing a religious practice that seems strange or even nonsensical to outsiders.
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